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The Big One

I don’t want to suffer

if I don’t have to.

But I crave the gifts

that suffering brings.

I’m scared

of the “big one” -

that life-changing event

forcing me into final surrender.

Ram Dass was a deeply spiritual man.

God touched him, blessed him

with a stroke -

and he was so surrendered to it.

I saw how he was

and I wanted that.

If there’s some way

to get soft,


vulnerable -

without losing anything…


Indulging childish wishes.


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